Thursday, July 28, 2011

Amy Scissorhands

I should have known.  I really should have known.  Amy, alone in her room, had been too quiet, for too long.  And by the time I decided to investigate, it was too late.  Oh sure, I saw the red flags that waved across those moments of relaxation I had been enjoying.  But I chose to ignore them.

The scene that came into view, just beyond the doorway of her room, surely must have resembled the beauty parlor from H-E-double hairspray bottles-one where a beautician with a grudge against hair, or some misguided sense of style, has been at work. 

Hair and fur were EVERYWHERE.  It took me a minute to sort out my confusion.  Amy’s own curls were reddish blonde, and plentiful snippets of her hair lay scattered about.  But I also saw clippings of black and brown fake fur, tufts that looked like real fur, and trimmings of green fake fur, too.  There may have been other colors that I missed.  It was hard to tell.

Amy, I can say with certainty, was a fast worker.  When I mentioned that the quiet in her room had lasted too long, it could not have been more than 15 or 20 minutes.  But put a pair of purple plastic blunt tipped scissors in the hands of a child on a mission, and it’s long enough.

I don’t know on whom she started cutting first-herself, or one of her many stuffed animals that fell victim that day. I do know that no one was spared.  Not even Willow, our dog, who relished any form of attention-even if that attention made her look like a character from a Dr. Seuss story.

Of all the hair cuts given that day, they had one thing in common.  They were all bad.  (Amy’s was a real piece of work-cropped down to her scalp in several places.)  But at least her haircut, and Willow’s haircut weren’t permanent.  Not so for “Pinky” the bunny, “Flingo” the flamingo, “Dot” the cow…

And what did Amy have to say for herself when her handiwork was discovered?

“I didn't do it.  My stuffed skunk did.”

So what do you say to a three year old renegade hairdresser, who is impossibly cute, telling a bold faced lie while holding a pair of safety scissors in her hand, and covered with hair and fur? 

“Well I guess we should send skunk to beauty school then.  If’s he’s going to be giving haircuts, he should at least learn to do them right.”

who me

The TRDC prompt this week was to edit a piece we had written in the past.  This story was originally published November 3, 2010.


  1. You totally set the scene of the crime - I can picture all the multiple layers of fur lying on every surface. Pretty sure I'll have an adventure like this in my future.

    Her pictures are so cute! :-)

  2. Thanks Lisa! You'll have three times the adventure! I wonder why it is that just about every kid does this sooner or later?

  3. Oh dear! I do love the way you relate the events of this cute but semi-tragic story, though. :-)
    I was a hair designer for over 20 years and fixed many self-inflicted child haircuts.

    Niesz Vintage Home

  4. Kimberly-that's hilarious! "Self-inflicted" is exactly the right way of putting it! :)

  5. I'm trying to remember if my daughter did this...I'm pretty sure she did, but I think I caught her in time before she did too much damage. It must be something every kid has to do at least once!

  6. Melissa, I used to give my dolls haircuts too. Kids and hair and scissors...not a good combination!

  7. The lie is priceless! As is her mother's response. And the dog sitting still for all that? Amazing! I'm imagining that Mr Skunk got away scot free.

    I loved the detail of the stuffed animal names.

    On a personal note, I was not a hair cut giver, but my clan of stuffed animals did make regular high speed trips down the laundry shoot.

  8. Thanks Jennifer! I love your laundry shoot story-that's priceless too!

    Recently Amy decided to thin out her stuffed animal collection and when we got to skunk we laughed over the hair cutting incident again! Skunk went on the keeper pile-I'll never let him go:)

  9. Love this line: "Oh sure, I saw the red flags that waved across those moments of relaxation I had been enjoying. But I chose to ignore them." I think every mother has had a moment of, "I wonder why it's so quiet up there?"

    I know I have!

  10. Valerie, you never fail to make me smile! LOVED this!! Adorable story...really. Reminded me of myself. I always thought I could improve upon the "look" of my dolls and stuffed animals...although I never went after my own hair, that takes guts :) Amy's obviously a brave girl!

  11. I love it, and I missed the original, so this was an extra treat. Like a second chance. And little girls with hairdressing ambitions are adorable. Even when they are very naughty.

  12. Oh dear. it's wrong to laugh at this, right?

    Yeah, that's what I thought.


    That photo? Is perfection.

  13. Thanks Victoria-I learned my lesson that day!

    Katie-I used to practice on my dolls and stuffed animals too. I remember how disappointed I was to learn that dolls had those tiny holes all over their heads where their hair was attached!

    Thanks C. Good thing Amy was so cute and brazen in her insistence that she was innocent!

    Galit-I did laugh too, after the initial shock wore off. (Because skunk had quite the haircut too!)

  14. I am laughing! That picture is priceless. And I understand all too well the price of a moment's piece. So sayeth the woman cleaning a bottle of olive oil off her floor today.

  15. I am giggling at the thought of all the colored stuffed animal fur mixed with her little girl hair and dog fur.

    My daughter is anti-hair cutting, but I've seen her eyeing her brother's head. The scissors go up on a high, high shelf...

  16. Nancy-I bet your floor is nice and shiny now;) Thanks for stopping by!

    angela-you might want to put your son up on a high shelf too-just to be safe:) Kids and scissors are best kept far, far apart! Thank you too for stopping by!

  17. OH lord, I love those pictures! And this is such a familiar refrain in my life. I tried the safety scissors with Deaglan a while ago. When I saw how irresistable he found them, I had to begin hiding them. He's crafty though, he finds plenty of other ways to make me wonder why he's being so quiet.

  18. The first time I handed Amy a pair, as fast as lightening she snipped a little hole in my pants-it startled her as much as me-and then she burst into tears. The hair cutting incident though-she knew what she was doing! Be vigilant Kim ;)