Lately I feel like my life has hit a point that resembles the Bermuda Triangle. I usually feel melancholy this time of year, anyway, because summer is rapidly drawing to a close. But this year it’s different.
With my dad’s recent bad patch, and my upcoming birthday (I despise birthdays) and Amy entering the 10th grade, I feel like the grains of sand that define my life are just slipping away.
I guess everyone gets to this place at some point-the place where you stop and take stock. And ask those tough questions like, “Am I happy?” or “Is this where I thought I would see myself now-and if not, where do I want to be?”
It’s hard for me to face up to the fact that my official role of “mom” is drawing to a close. I know I still have 3 years before Amy graduates, and after that there are the college years, but still.
I also realize that nothing, nor anyone, lasts forever. I have lots of old pictures of my ancestors that prove that.
But I wonder, who will I be someday when I don’t have Amy at home? When my parents are gone? When I an old woman?
I received this bit of advice recently, from a friend whose kids are grown, after I asked her how she dealt with her own Bermuda Triangle.
Live in the moment. Don’t squander the here and now, mourning over what will be.
Like Kona does.
I never thought I would be envious of a dog, but I am. Because Kona lives that advice every day. (Even though she doesn’t have a clue that she is doing it!)
And now I need to go pack. Amy and I are going on little trip tomorrow to spend some time with my parents. We will be back on Sunday. Hugs to all of you, and I look forward to catching up when we get back:)
Photos by my darling Amy.