Monday, February 11, 2013

Past Tense

bridesmaid

I was going through some photo albums the other day-albums inherited from my grandparents-trying to decide which photos, out of hundreds, to keep, and  I came across this picture.  It’s the 22 or so year old me, taken at my sister’s wedding, and if I look closely at myself, I can see the black eye shadow, and the bleached out strip of hair.  I thought I looked pretty cool at the time.  Now, I think I just looked ridiculous.  Still, I have a soft spot in my heart for the girl in this picture.  It was a rough time in her life-and in the process of trying to figure out who she was, she took many wrong turns. She was more than a little wild.  Didn’t exactly keep the best company.  Still, she was sweet and kind, and if you peered into her heart-a good person.

I think about my other, floundering self, sometimes.  I still don’t have the definition of who I am completely nailed down, but I have a pretty good idea.  I am older now, and wiser-happy to have outgrown the growing pains that make you feel, when you are 22, that the world is coming to an end.  And I ask myself-if I could be 22 again, would I want to be different?  Yes, and no.  I envy those who made it through their early years unscathed, but at the same time, it’s what I want for Amy.  Or at least I want her to have an easier go of it than I did.  And if the advice I offer her has more credence to it because I know what I’m talking about, and helps make the path she travels a little straighter-then every single second of my past was worth it.

Happy Monday, dear readers!  Today I’d  originally planned to post my recipe for breakfast sundaes, but the light in the kitchen wasn’t very good…

Hugs!

9 comments:

  1. 22 is a rough time. I certainly wouldn't want to repeat that year. Not at all. The good thing is that the hard years teach us to be better people in the long run, if we're smart.

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    1. That's true, Lisa! I like to tell myself that what I learned made it all worthwhile. (Like not to bleach my hair!) ;) In all seriousness though, learning from the past is a lesson worth remembering for life.

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  2. The early twenties are some tumultuous times for sure! I think you grow and change so much in your twenties and you are a completely different person at 29 than you are at 22. Sometimes I don't even recognize my 22 year old self!

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    1. Such a good point Tammy! The 20's really are tumultuous times! I was completely lost when I entered them, but had settled down by the time I left them:)

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  3. Oh Valerie, I was so smart at 22 and yet so utterly dumb at the same time. Now days when I come across someone that is young and wise, I seek to learn from them. I don't think I taught a single soul anything when I was 22. Well perhaps how "snotty" I was, perhaps. hahahaha. Hey and sailor talk is "forbidden" lady. hahahahaha.

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  4. Oh Rene! Have you learned a lot from me? (Hahahahahahaha just kidding!!) I could be pretty snotty at times when I was 22...

    I think you are just about perfect now:)

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  5. We looked very similar then--only my hair was straighter. Funny, how I have such similar thoughts about those times. No matter what decisions your daughter makes, it will be the experiences she accumulates which will give her the future wisdom she needs in later years.

    Love your blogspot, Valerie--and you are a delightful person because of who you are and were!

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  6. I have a 22 year old daughter ..oouch. I remember my 22 yr old self ..newly married and newly employed...
    I think you look great in that photo!!

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  7. I love this picture. I love the idea of a wild you. I think it's the hardest thing, to come to terms with the younger version of ourselves - I was no different than you at 22 - impulsive, prone to taking the wrong road etc. I cringe at the thought that my boys might want to be as alone as I wanted to be then. I hope not.

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