This thief I can’t see.
Stealing moments, looting memory, until I can’t remember.
I want to fight back, start a rebellion.
But time is relentless, robbing me blind.
Devastating my life.
Like rain on a parade.
The Trifextra challenge: This weekend, we are revisiting a prompt we've done before. We are giving you three words and asking that you add another 33 to them to make a complete 36-word response. You may use the words in any order you choose.
Our three words are:
remember
rain
rebellion
Now you give us yours.
**********************
I came up with two responses this week, and I couldn't decide which one to post. This is my “tongue in cheek” version:
Inclement Weather
The rebellion was going well, as I recall. No shortage of clashing swords, guttural screams. But then the rain came. Spirits sagged, and besides. All those umbrellas blocked my view. I really can’t remember who won.
They're both wonderful. I kind of like the second one I think. The umbrellas part intrigues me :-)
ReplyDeleteLisa, I posted the second one first, and then I changed my mind, and posted the first one second. Then I let Amy read them and she voted for the second one! Now I have vertigo;)
ReplyDeleteI was hoping the umbrellas would add some intrigue!
Both of your submissions are great! Love how poignant and intense the first one is — and I love the voice you've used in the second one. I am also intrigued by the umbrellas. Well done!
ReplyDeleteSuzanne, thanks so much for saying that! I really could not decide between the two of them because they were so different from each other! I feel a little bit like Jekyll and Hyde:)
Deletethe first one is my inner battle also . . . Oil of Old Lady helps.
ReplyDeletethe umbrellas? great!
That's so funny barbara! Just the other day I was contemplating buying a bottle of that myself;) Thanks for reading!
DeleteI liked them both, but the sly humor in the second one is more "you" to me. If that makes sense?
ReplyDeleteCam, you know me so well-and that flatters the heck out of me!! Thanks for reading them both!
DeleteI really liked them both! The first one is my favorite. Time is the ultimate thief.
ReplyDeleteThanks Deana! The first one sums up how I feel about the passage of time, and how my daughter is growing up way too fast-and that makes me a little sad:) I'm so glad you stopped by!
DeleteValerie - the 1st one for me, sorry did I say that already? :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks Rambly! I appreciate you reading them!!
ReplyDeleteThe first one is so sad and makes the heart ache. I'm glad for the balm of the second, lighter piece. They're both brilliant.
ReplyDeleteThanks Draug! Your comment itself is a gem-seeing the second piece as a balm for the sadness of the first. I love that!
DeleteNice balance of the two. Oil of Old Lady lol I don't think it helps, either!
ReplyDeleteTime is a thief, which is why a bit of a chuckle is appreciated!
Thank you kymm! I'm finding that the older I get laughter becomes essential to my survival!
DeleteI'm so glad you stopped by:)
I enjoyed the second for its lightness and humor, but the first hit home with a thoughtful message.
ReplyDeleteI agree, the second one is delightful and I imagined that someone was watching a reenactment or a real life RP that they have now, making the umbrella line genius. And the first one rang the devastation bell of Alzheimers or dementia quite poignantly.
ReplyDeleteBoth are great!
They are both good, just very different.
ReplyDeleteLove both but the first one would be my choice,it has a fascinating feel to it & I could immediately relate to it:-)The second one has a light-hearted feel to it with the umbrellas b locking one from reality & one can immediately see the narrator among so many in the crowd ,holding umbrellas,trying to crane their necks & rising on their toes,trying to find out who won,lol! Excellent pieces:-)
ReplyDeleteI like them both! I am always impressed at how you can create stories like this from your prompts. Great job :)
ReplyDeleteLove them both Valerie! Your writing reminds me so much of poetry and I adore a great poem!
ReplyDeleteI like the first one Val. A sense of helplessness creeps in. Brilliantly worded !
ReplyDeletethe time thief, stealing memories, raining on life's parade - who wouldn't want to rebel? wonderfully done
ReplyDelete